At times like this, I think of nothing but leaving him.
When he keeps silent for reasons I don’t know and keeps me thinking,
When he brags to me that he’s already committed and make me feel insecure
When I feel that he does not want to be with me, that he just do it out pity,
When he ignores me for the things that I wanted
Or when I fail to comply to what he wants,
When he declares that he’s irritated, to all of my craziness,
When he proclaims that he loves his woman and I’m just a friend.
Or he’ll just find a perfect woman and that woman is not me.
When he doesn’t have any idea for the pains that he causes me
At times like these, I cannot even think of feeling the pain
(because it has been my companion)
Of tasting my tears,
(because I can even formulate tears, because I have known all its ingredients)
Because I am very much used to all of these.
I think of nothing but leaving him.
But when I remember everything-
The damn corny jokes,
The laughters,
The warm embrace and hugs…
The hand that caresses mine
The sweet and eager kisses,
The way he takes away my hair from my face
The humble looks,
The nonsense advice,
The sweet reconciliation after every misunderstanding,
The way I cry when we he says that he doesn’t want me to leave.
And all those bittersweet memories we shared
I think of nothing
But to love him with all of my heart.
Oh, how could I leave him when every time the damn idea crosses my mind,
I would remember who he really is and what he really feels,
And I would remember who I really am and what I really feel.